This is part of a series in which I attempt to eat all of the vegetarian items on the Teji’s menu.

I will try to restrain myself from making extraneous comments about their slow service and how their waiters are snippy and refuse to just write down the item number and how I’ve had to wait an hour for an appeti–oh, I forgot. No comments about the slow service.

Egg Curry — This is suspiciously listed as a meat entree. I am hoping that is because the owners have a more realistic definition of vegetarian than most Americans and not because there is some sneaky meaty in there. I don’t want to have to delete this blog post in shame when I discover that my favorite item is actually my favorite because it was murdered.

The egg curry is three slightly overboiled eggs in a red curry sauce. It’s supposedly the “standard” curry sauce, but if you get their mixed vegetable curry (which is not actually on the menu! WHY?!!) you will see that that curry is a much lighter color. Again, that makes me suspicious about what hidden ingredients comprise this tasty, tasty sauce. It is rich and creamy and slightly spicy.

Dal Makhni — This one is also delicious but slightly suspicious. It is listed as vegan but is described as “buttery”. I am not sure if it includes actual butter, but the description is apt. If this is vegan, it surely must be the least healthy vegan lentil dish on the planet. There is no way something can taste so rich and creamy and be good for you.

Navrattan Korma — Oh, korma. Textbook korma, made with a nutty, often vegan sauce, is my favorite Indian dish. Clay Pit’s korma seems to be made with heavy cream, however, which is an abomination. Teji’s korma is not an abomination, not even a travesty. At most I would call it “misstep.” The primary flavoring and thickener seems to be butter. It’s even the color of butter, which follows the trend of suspicious food items, because the lamb korma appears to be a completely different color.

Bainghan Bharta — This eggplant dish is flavorful but difficult to eat. Imagine roasted eggplant roughly mashed with typical Indian spices. Delicious, right? Now imagine trying to eat it with a fork.

Malai Kofta — This dish uses the tikka masala base, which is tasty but is probably 50% cream. Into that base go fried potato-cheese balls. This will be the cause of death listed in your obituary, but damn is it delicious.

Samosa — Their samosas are typical, yummy, and reasonably priced. Definitely the best appetizer choice on the Guadalupe menu.

Bonda Potato Ball — Imagine a less spicy, more awkwardly shaped samosa. Imagine trying to fit an item the size of a tennis ball into a chutney cup the diameter of a quarter.

Pappadam — This has been the biggest let down so far. The pappadam at their Round Rock location are flavored with fennel seeds and are complimentary with every meal. The ones at the Guadalupe location are flavored with grease and took 20 minutes to be delivered to my table. (Sorry, I forgot again!)

Naan — Teji’s has the best naan in Austin. The serving size is equivalent to a small pizza, and is beautifully charred and pillowy. The regular naan is my favorite; don’t succumb to the siren song of the other fancy flavors.

Garlic Naan — See naan, above. Teji’s naan is amazing, but the garlic naan reminded me too much of American garlic bread.

Onion Kulcha — A.K.A. onion naan. The onions split apart the dough, making it harder to tear off a piece that is adequate for scooping up curry.

Paratha — A thicker wheat bread. Imagine a thick tortilla. I am usually a fan of paratha, but I found this one a bit less flavorful than the paratha I personally make a home. The masala potato stuffing is either not noticeable or non-existent.